I will go, I will do!

A year ago today my life changed in a way to effect the eternities.

As my sweet Dallin was admitted to the Dixie Regional Medical Center in St. George, UT. I realized in a most reluctant way that life would never be the same. As we got settled into the ICU, I learned of another family that shared a very similar journey with us. I was introduced to Jesse Shipp, a father and precious husband who along with his perfectly sweet family would change my life forever. His son a young high school stud had been in an ATV accident exactly one week before our arrival. He like Dallin was also in a coma and suffered a severe brain injury. My heart broke. In this very moment I had a strong feeling and the words came to my mind, "This boy is going to be the one that walks out of here not Dallin." Now, in my inexperienced mind I thought no, no you need to have more faith. This has led me to learn a great lesson, that faith and fear cannot coexist with one another. Also faith is learning to accept those things that the spirit is whispering to you. I knew in my heart Britton was going to pull through. I knew it so deeply that I was getting it mixed up with the fear of Dallin never waking up. Over the next 13 days we saw Britt progress and change in ways Dallin did not. I prayed so hard that once they finally could get the MRI everyone would see a miracle and everyone would know that the Lord is truly on our side. My dear friends the MRI came back and it was everything one hopes to never hear about the love of their life. But, in that very moment as the neurosurgeon looked me square in the eye's my life was flipped upside down. As the news sank in and I was comforted by the holy ghost I knew what was going to come next. I knew in the deepest part of my heart and soul that the Lord was in fact on my side, no matter what. We as a family were going to have to unplug my love. I for one second had the feeling of incredible jealousy for our dear friends down the hall. I wanted their outcome. I wanted Dallin to wake up and come home. I very quickly was taught that we had a different path to walk. 
Recently I read of Britton getting up in sacrament meeting, baring his testimony and saying "When God said I need someone to go down there and have a serious brain injury and change their life" he raised his hand and said he'd do it! As a family we believe Dallin also raised his hand. What a great example these two men are. One leading his life here on earth and the other in paradise.  
 I am so grateful for the wonderful Shipp family. They have touched so many lives and influenced so many of us to continually build our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  

I know that my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me and are very aware of my life. A month and a half after I said goodbye for now to Dallin. I was given the greatest blessings of all, our sweet son. I may not know all of the "whys " but, I do know that I am watched over. The evidence is overwhelming. I know through the power of the atonement baby Levi and I will be reunited with Dallin once more. Until then we will live our lives to the fullest. 

Book of Mormon 

1 Nephi 3:7

 7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth nocommandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

Ether 12:27

 27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Feel the spirit and do it anyway!

The other day I was outside doing yard work, feeding the animals, folding up tarps, basically just cleaning up from the winter time. These were activities Dallin and I always did together. We believe in working together and spending time with one another and for our lifestyle outside chores was a big part of that. As I worked now by myself part of me felt relief accomplishing something that Dallin would appreciate yet, I do miss him dearly. As I worked I received a call from Kenworthy Monuments. They were calling to tell me that my husbands monument was ready to be installed. I had thought about this moment many times since I finalized the design a couple months back. I loaded up Levi and headed up to Gunlock Cemetery to witness my husband be memorialized here on this beautiful earth. As I made the 20ish minute drive I battled with and overcame my emotions. Emotions are very different than feelings. Emotions can be twisted and pulled and distorted into ways that feelings do not. When I say I battled with my emotions this is because it is not hard to drift into what I call "Satan territory" the negative, depression and deep deep sadness. The beautiful challenge and our purpose on this earth is to overcome that evil one and rise above him with the support and continued help from our loving Heavenly Father.  It is called the "Plan of Happiness" for a reason and those reasons become more relevant to me as I take action and do those things that invite the spirit into my life but, more importantly act upon those promptings and continue in faith. Happiness does come and just as I trust my Heavenly Father to help and inspire me. He also has trust in me that I will follow and act upon His council. I feel as though Dallin say's it best from an entry in his missionary journal.
"Our Father in Heaven often let's us act and see for ourselves and to learn. Which is why most revelation comes through our own thought's and our own questions. When we teach others by far the best way to get them to learn is to get them to ask a good question so they can teach themselves. The Lord also teaches us in this way, He leads our own thought's to teach our own self. Other ways he also uses to answer can be through other's, through scriptures, through the deep impression of the spirit with our spirit. But, these answers come to the worthy seeker who try's THEIR BEST. Trust in the Lord and in His time and in His justice and mercy. Love thy God for He loves you. Love Elder Hunt"

It is an exciting thing to feel a prompting from the spirit, act on it and see the amazing result. Even as I write this post I felt a prompting while watching the men so carefully and respectfully place Dallin's monument that I needed to write about it. So here I am following the spirit. Honestly, I don't know what will come of me writing this but, I truly hope I can have a positive affect. 

Standing there in the Gunlock Cemetery among many of the old and weathered monuments of Dallin's ancestors was very touching. As I watched a brand new, fresh monument be placed to tell the world that Dallin James Hunt was here and he lived! He lived a life centered around family, the gospel, service, fun, adventure, love and so much more. Many remember Dallin because he either helped them or they saw him help someone else in need. He had a gift for feeling, following the spirit and sharing the true love of Christ with those he came in contact with. Stranger, long time friend or family member he showed the love of his savior through countless hours of service. 
We need to follow his example, be open and willing to feel or hear the spirit speak to you and be brave. Be brave enough and strive everyday to take the action and be your best self, the self that your loving Heavenly Father is proud of. 

Lets be awesome for the ones we love!

Faith in Every Footstep

Levi and I have had many adventures these past few weeks! Levi and his sweet cousin Olive were blessed on the same day. That was such a sweet experience to share with my sister Autumn and her awesome husband Jeff! Logan (Dallin's brother) blessed my little Levi and I truly couldn't have asked for anything better! What a blessing it is to have such a wonderful family and friends that supported me so wonderfully that day. I have been so blessed countless times. 

The other day I was cleaning my apartment and  I found a small pile of the "#hopeforhunt" bracelets. As I looked at them I thought hmmm that is for me now I guess. I need the hope and I am hopeful! Often I go to the temple at night and walk around. It has become my favorite place to be!! I find such peace and I realized I can feel sad there but, still feel good about it because my mind is on the eternal perspective. One night the temple seemed to be shinning extra brilliantly so I took a picture. As I looked at the picture and back up at the temple the night was so dark and then I realized...There will always be darkness but, that is what makes the light shine so brilliantly! Light always overcomes darkness! I will always overcome Satan. I will live my life and take care of Levi. I will always win against Satan I have the light of Christ. He will help me be so strong and we will find joy because that is what Dallin, Jesus and our Heavenly Father wants for us. 

So I realized tonight while talking to good friend that other people also have no idea where their lives are going! I am not alone! This is great because I was looking through an old note book of mine with all of our wedding plans and I came across a journal entry that I would like to share.  Now remember I wrote this on 3-25-2012 and I believe it is the perfect advice for me right now! By writing down my thoughts and feelings 3 years ago I am helping myself today.

So today I am at church. I just had a really good experience that I want to remember. I have missed church the past two weeks. First off, that is never happening again! I don't care what the circumstance is...Carissa get your butt up and go to church. Dallin and I are sitting in sacrament. I can feel that it was missing the past two weeks. I love being at church and feeling the wonderful spirit and feeling the spirit that resides here. As I took the sacrament I could feel the love of my wonderful Savior and Heavenly Father. I know they love me & want me to be happy. They are on my team, cheering me on always. No matter what my Heavenly Father loves ME & always wants me to turn to him no matter what I have done, no matter how I feel. That evil one Satan wants the worst for me. All bad feelings come from Satan. Fear is not faith. There is no fear with God. All will be fantastic and my puzzle will one day be complete with the love and hand of the Lord helping us. I said a prayer during the sacrament & felt great peace and comfort as I asked for forgiveness & strength for the new upcoming week. I felt and continue to feel his love. I want to say a prayer like that every Sunday as I take the wonderful sacrament. It was a great feeling that I always want. Best part is I can have that feeling at all times and in all things and in all places!! 

In a journal entry of Dallin's he wrote "She is so caring, faithful and brave." This sentence means a lot to me because I want to always live up to the way my sweet Dallin saw me. I will be my best self. 

A new day

Realizing I have probably said this before I would like to share it again. Everyday I learn something new about myself, see myself grow, and have a new realization about my life. It is so fun to be in tune with the spirit on a level I have never reached before. I always laugh and tell people that I just talk out loud to myself but, seriously when I do this I come up with the best answers to my questions or worries for that day. My most current worries came from me being asked to speak to the youth in our ward about my experiences the last few months and why temples are so important to me.
 Now some may say "What!? Isn't that to soon to be asked to share something like that?" which is a natural first reaction. But, I will share with you why I am 100% ok with this. A few weeks ago I was up north visiting my family and I kept thinking I need to write down thoughts and experiences because I am going to get asked to speak, teach a lesson or something! Now I am not the kind of person that would think this EVER! So I knew immediately this was the Holy Ghost prepping me. The next week I had a meeting with my bishop and like a rookie I told him how I had been feeling and asked him what the deal was! He chuckled and said "I will tell you why you have been feeling that way and I wasn't going to bring this up today but, since you did...We are going to the Manti temple for youth conference this year and I have been thinking about having you come and speak to the young men and young women." Now my "old self" would have been completely terrified of the thought! Me!? Molding the minds of these young people!? HAHA But, shockingly enough I was excited! I love the youth of our ward they are soooo amazing and strong. I literally couldn't wait to share my testimony with them! Now before I mentioned "worries" I was not scared to be in front of them and speak no, I was worried because I didn't know how to organize everything in a way they could gain the most from my experiences, thoughts, and testimony. I had plenty to share it was just getting it out in a way they could relate to and connect with that seemed to be my biggest challenge. 
Sunday came around and off we went! It was such an amazing experience for me and such a healing one! I had about a page and a half of notes in my journal that was kind of my outline and let the Holy Ghost guide me on what to say from there. It was great for me because in prepping for that night I grew even closer to my Heavenly Father as I prayed for his guidance, help and company so I could do my very best for those kids! I truly hope I was able to share something they needed. 
"Your continuing exercise of faith will forge strength of character available to you in times of critical need. Such character is not developed in moments of great challenge or temptation. That is when it is used."
One night I was reading old text messages between Dallin and I from about a year ago. I came upon one that had a link attached to it and the text said "Honey! We need to read this together!" Now I do not recall sending this message as it was so long ago but, I am sure glad I did. Because in doing so I was an answer to my own prayers! That was pretty cool. The link was to a talk titled Living a Life of Peace, Joy and Purpose By Elder Richard G. Scott. This talk has been on of the single best things I have ever read my entire life! It was so meant for me! The quote above is found in this talk and I encourage everyone to read the words of a beloved disciple of God. My greatest tools and strength comes from reading the words of our Latter-Day prophets and leaders. It is quite amazing I can just pull up and conference talk or search lds.org and be given a multitude of talks, video's and testimonies to lead me and guide me. Take advantage of the many avenues the wonderful church has provided for us and learn all you can! 

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/02/living-a-life-of-peace-joy-and-purpose?lang=eng&cid=facebook-shared

I am excited for what the future holds for little Levi and I. He is such a blessing and soooo dang cute! 

Family Is Forever

I have not blogged in a very long time and I have started this post many times. I would like to share experiences and moments from my life with anyone that would like to hear about it. I believe that I have had these experiences and I need to share them. I need people to hear what I have to say because maybe I can help them through a hard time in their life. Maybe I can be an instrument in the Lord's hands. 

The past year has been a life changing one. Dallin and I were moving forward with our lives and so excited for all that was coming our way!(Baby Levi) In November of 2014 my whole world changed. Dallin suffered a traumatic brain injury causing him to pass away. Even as I type those words it is still hard to understand that it is a reality. I would like to share with you an impression I had the day I learned of Britton Ship and his family. He is a young man that also suffered a brain injury and was in a coma like Dallin. When I was told Britton's story and learned the similarities of our circumstances I was saddened and my heart broke. Now my heart broke because in that moment, that very brief yet oh so powerful moment I knew Britton would be the one coming back to us and I would have to say goodbye to my dear sweet husband. As quickly as I had this thought I pushed it from my mind because I wanted both of us to have the grand success story. I thought having that thought meant I was lacking faith in the Lord's ability to heal our loved ones. As most are very aware our journey in the ICU ended after 13 days. Over that time the Lord worked with me and helped me understand what I now know from the deepest part of my heart, Dallin was not meant to be here any longer. I truly appreciate all of Britton's success. I remember how exciting it felt just to see Dallin move his toes. I have witnessed many tender mercies and our dear Heavenly Father has truly been by my side. 
Dallin was riding his horse working the cows right along side his dad and this was truly what he loved to do. My dear sweet husband lived a full and honest life!! He cared for others and shared his testimony often with those around him. He made me a better person every single day. I love Dallin James Hunt with all of my heart and I know that he loves me! I love that feeling, knowing that you are so very loved is the best thing EVER! :) People tell me that I am so strong for going through this trial but, I need everyone to know that it is truly my Heavenly Father that has given me strength. The trick is to have an open mind and heart to receive the comfort and guidance from Him that I count on everyday. Truth is I believe my Heavenly Father has been with me 100% because I have asked him to be with me and help me. There are experiences I have had that at the time I may not have known but, Heavenly Father was preparing me for this trial. In my heart I know that Dallin and I were meant to be together. We share a love that is unmatched and guess what, we are sealed for time and all eternity. I get to be with him forever!! How exciting and wonderful that is to me! I will live a full and happy life here on earth and at the end I will be greeted by my one true love! Baby Levi and I are doing good! Everyday presents a new challenge to face and overcome yet everyday something occurs to help build my confidence and strength back so I can over come those challenges. I guess I felt I need to share this with you so you know the Lord hears and answers our prayers. Some answers are not always what we want or expect but, he ALWAYS gives an answer. I have personally learned this lesson and guess what, with the Lord on our side we can truly conquer all things!!