Sunday, June 19, 2016

Happy Fathers Day!

Fathers come in quite a variety. There are old ones, young ones, step ones, adopted ones, surrogate ones, grandpa ones, ward family ones, and a Heavenly one, etc. There are also the ones who aren't with us whether that is by choice or not. Some may feel great sadness on this day celebrating fathers while some may feel anger, hurt, joyfulness, loneliness, excitement, love, sorrow...because we all have a different situations we may feel different things and that my friends is ok! But remember this, we all have a Heavenly Father who loves us. What a joyful thought to have no matter our circumstance. 

As I feel the void of Dallin's presence on earth this father's day I can't help but think about how Levi will feel in the future as he grows to understand his daddy is in Heaven. I often ponder about this and how he will take it. Will he be able to understand and accept this or will he lash out and handle his grief in a different manner. Because I am sure he will feel all of the feelings I listed just as I have. What comforts me is the absolute fact that Levi has a whole list of fathers that are and always will be apart of his life. He gets to have so many examples of great fathers for example he gets uncles, great uncle's, grandpa's, great grandpa's, cousins, my best friends husbands and many more. If the definition of a father is someone that a child can look up to for counsel, love, support, courage, kindness and an example then I am pleased to report Levi has more father figures than one could count. What a blessing it is that Dallin and his dad were so close. I love that I get to have him as a dad too! 

My own dad has been such a blessing to us. He is a great man full of love and support. As a dad I can not imagine it is easy to watch your daughter become a widow at the age of 24 and a couple months later a parent. 

My dad shared a special story with me that I do not recall and I feel inspired to share it with you.

The night Dallin passed away my family returned to my aunt and uncle's house.  We were snuggling in for bed with mom beside me and dad next to me on the floor. It was late at night and dad was sleeping very light (which was odd). He heard/saw me sit up in bed having the thought "whats wrong!?" yet he stayed quite and watched over me. I was mumbling in my sleep (as he described to me) I then very distinctly, clearly, softly and peacefully I said "I love you Dallin, I love you Dallin" then laid back down. Maybe 5 to 10 min. later I sat up and did the exact same thing repeating "I love you Dallin, I love you Dallin" then laid back down. Dad was stunned he didn't want to move or make any noise. He explained it saying, "you were so peaceful and said it so clearly as if you were talking directly to Dallin." "It felt as if you were saying good-bye to him." I am so blessed to have a father that watches over me.

One day Levi might have another dad here on earth, one to preside in our home. Teaching him, loving him, and helping him grow just as Dallin would have done. Hope is a beautiful thing. Often we are told "Hope for things which are not seen but, which are true." I know there is a plan for each and everyone of us. Those who accept the role of a father (in all of its forms) I feel are very special men and deserve to be celebrated! I love all of the fathers in my life and would not be who I am without them today. 


                              Dallin & dad
   Watching basketball with Grandma & Grandpa
Horse lessons with Papa!           Driving lessons with Papa!



  1. Carissa I love you so much and admire you and your strength. I never got to meet Dallin but because you married him I know he was a great man and husband to my cousin I live very much!